Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

  (1-858): View more from California

  Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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  (858): I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth (1-858): Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again? http://tfl.nu/8rfw
  Replies (10) Good night (609) Bad night (5097) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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  (734): I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that http://tfl.nu/jwk4
  Replies (12) Good night (3628) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.

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  (860): I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows. http://tfl.nu/2kv7
  Replies (17) Good night (4568) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness

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  (914): shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness http://tfl.nu/7ruk
  Replies (32) Good night (1901) Bad night (4556) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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  (941): how did the keg end up in the top bunk? http://tfl.nu/zpng
  Replies (11) Good night (2690) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3710) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i drank out of a bidet.

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  (443): i drank out of a bidet. http://tfl.nu/arjg
  Replies (16) Good night (746) Bad night (4247) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time

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  (614): I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time http://tfl.nu/cp50
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (2134) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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  (913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (1419) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.

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  (304): I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke. http://tfl.nu/7s6d
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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  (813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs
  Replies (7) Good night (2095) Bad night (596)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.

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  (304): Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE. http://tfl.nu/c4re
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.

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  (949): You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on. http://tfl.nu/pfvu
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I didn't notice because vodka

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  (832): I didn't notice because vodka http://tfl.nu/t52z
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt

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