I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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