nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize