She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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