please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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