i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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