You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize