It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize