Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You are a genius and a whore.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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