Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize