You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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