apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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