We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize