As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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