i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize