That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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