Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Pooping to opera.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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