just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize