I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize