I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize