I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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