we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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