32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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