Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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