pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize