I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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