I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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