batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize