he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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