Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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