I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize