Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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