Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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