he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize