I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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