They should really pass out barf bags in church
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize