Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I CAN MOONWALK!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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