filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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