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What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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