he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
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Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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