Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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