Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I currently don't understand fingers.
So. Much. Porn.
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