It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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