remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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