Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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