I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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