I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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