I accidentally had phone sex last night
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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