For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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