Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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